ENTP - ENFJ Relationship

ENTP - ENFJ Relationship

Joys and Struggles

This section ENTP - ENFJ relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The ENTP - ENFJ relationship has 2 preference similarities and 2 preference differences. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:


Joys Struggles
  • Because both parties enjoy people, they are likely to go for many socializing activities and parties together.
  • They will likely enjoy each other’s energy and zest for life and have many fun activities and adventures together.
  • Because of their love for people and socializing, they are likely to have a large network around them, supporting and mediating for the couple in time of need.
  • Because both love to speak, (not so much listen), they may try to compete for air time when conversing with one another. So instead of listening, they may out talk each other in order to be heard.
  • Hence, they may not feel fulfilled, especially if one party is always doing the talking and the other doing the listening.
  • One party may turn to outside friends to fill that desire to speak and be heard, and in bad cases, it may lead to extra-marital affair.


Joys Struggles
  • Because both parties enjoy discussing big ideas, possibilities and global issues, they will usually find a certain attraction to each other.
  • This is especially if they have similar viewpoints on certain issues, they will find chemistry with each other.
  • Both tend to enjoy each other’s uniqueness, not just in viewpoints but also in fashion, tastes and so on.
  • Because both parties enjoy talking about the future, their conversations will more often revolve around future hopes and dreams and exciting possibilities.
  • However, they may lack interest in everyday living, hence if they are a married couple, household duties may tend to be neglected.
  • Even if they attempt to take care of household, they may still miss important details in its maintenance.
  • The partner that has to be constantly responsible for the everyday maintenance may feel resentment or unfulfilled.
  • A good balance can be achieved with proper delegation of duties or with the hiring of a domestic helper.


Joys Struggles
  • Thinker will be attracted to the Feeler’s compassion and warmth toward Thinker and others, which Thinker may find lacking in self.
  • Feeler is attracted to the objective, tough-minded Thinker who can take and give criticism without taking offense.
  • The Thinker-Feeler partnership will provide all rounded perspectives, considering people, values and logical consequences when making important decisions.
  • Thinkers may hurt Feelers with their straightforward and sometimes tactless words; Feelers tend to take words personally; so when the Thinker provides negative feedback, it always evokes a larger than expected reaction from the Feeler.
  • Thinkers may not understand the Feeler’s desire for harmony and hence avoidance of conflict. Thinkers often misinterpret Feeler’s behavior and deem them complicated.
  • Feelers also tend to show affection much more naturally and sometimes they may feel their Thinking counterparts don’t show enough of it; they may feel unfulfilled in the relationship.


Joys Struggles
  • Judgers enjoy making decisions for the relationship while Perceivers are happy just to let Judgers do so. Perceivers are happy to go with the flow according to the Judger’s opinions, and they are generally okay with most casual decisions.
  • Because of their organized and scheduled nature, Judgers bring a stability and order to the otherwise messy and spontaneous lives of Perceivers – something that the Perceivers greatly appreciate.
  • Perceivers, on the other hand, help Judgers to lighten up and see the fun side of life, bidding them to be less serious and uptight about everything – something that the Judgers know they need a reminder of.
  • However, Judgers find Perceivers to be too passive and casual with their indecisiveness – Sometimes this gets on the nerves of Judgers.
  • Perceivers may find Judgers’  to be too controlling at times; they often react by pushing back because they find it too stifling to their desire for freedom.
  • Judgers find that Perceivers care little about household organization, something which they value highly. Perceivers are likely to mess up the house because they don’t like to keep things neat and orderly (at least in the Judger’s eyes) – this of course drives Judgers crazy.
  • Judgers may also find the Perceiver’s lack of planning and scheduling to be irritating; they may try to organize the Perceiver’s life as a result – this of course, is a mistake and something that Perceivers do not always appreciate.

Here’s how ENTPs and ENFJs can relate to each other better:

Reaching out to the ENTP as an ENFJ
  • Listen without judgement – When your partner shares ideas, hear them out without reservations and stop yourself from immediately pointing out why they are unrealistic. 
  • Don’t nag or complain – Your partner works best with positive reinforcement. Instead of talking about tasks they fail to keep up with, praise them for what they’ve managed to complete! 
  • Go with their flow of fun – It may be tough on you, but being spontaneous and going with your partner’s flow of ideas for an adventure is one sure way you can deepen this connection. 
  • Let things stand open – Try not to push your partner too hard for decisions and closure. Whenever possible, let things stand open. If that’s not an option, give your partner enough room to ponder. 
  • Support your partner’s vision – Your partner feels most valued when someone is supportive of his/her efforts to move ahead professionally. Be supportive of your partner’s endeavours and cheer him/her along as they journey through!
Reaching out to the ENFJ as an ENTP
  • Give them time to share – Both of you are opinionated. Remember to give time for your partner to share and also request for uninterrupted time to talk. 
  • Allow a different perspective – Your pragmatic opinion is likely going to be different from your partner’s values-based point of view. Consider differences in perspective and seek out better solutions. 
  • Be affirming and positive – Your directness and criticism of others may appear offensive or insensitive to your partner. Adopt an affirming and positive way of saying something. 
  • Give them clear conclusions – Your tendency to leave things open without conclusion gets on your partner’s nerves. Make a decision and follow through. 
  • Support your partner’s vision – Your partner likely has a big vision he/she hopes to see fulfilled. Learn about this vision and find ways you can support your partner.

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the ENTP – ENFJ relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.