What Every ESFJ Wants You to Know




For those who are ESFJs, or perhaps come into regular contact with ESFJs, you may be well aware of the ability an ESFJ has to connect with others, to be well-liked, and to make sure those around them are happy.


They love knowing what’s going on in the world around them and love connecting to others. They have a natural trust for leaders and love to serve in any way they can. This can lead others to question their motives, wondering if it’s out of an obligation or a genuine desire.


ESFJs can make friends with anyone they meet (some even say they could talk to a wall!). But being so extroverted doesn’t mean that ESFJs tell all about themselves. For many things, ESFJs keep mum because they deem certain things inappropriate to talk about.


In this article, we’re taking a look at what ESFJs want you to know about them.  


“I participate in service because I WANT to.”


It’s rare that you find someone loves to serve others and does it by choice. But, as an ESFJ, that’s just what I do! I can understand that sometimes others serve because they feel obligated to, but that’s not the case for me.


In fact, service is one way I find my joy. Because of this, I enjoy volunteering, taking care of others, and understanding where others are coming from. Of course, I have an expectation that others will do likewise, but I am genuinely disappointed when others don’t.


“I’m really, really sensitive.”


Not only do I take things personally, but I also empathize with the feelings of those around me. I can see when someone is upset around me, and it’s always my goal to make them feel better by talking to them.  


If you’re my family, friend, or coworker, please try and be extra gentle when giving me negative feedback. I may act like I can take it and smile, but it hurts me more than it looks.


“When something isn’t planned well, it drives me insane.”


I thrive on routine and plans, and spontaneity just isn’t my thing. I do really well at planned events when I know what is going to happen.


I also really like planning and organizing events and things for others, especially when they’re events and activities that others will enjoy.


But I can’t stand people who refuse to stick to the plan or make changes as and when they wish. I feel these people don’t give respect to those who have made plans already.


“You can count on me.”


I know sometimes people say this and don’t mean it, but I can promise you I do. I am a naturally loyal person, and it is important to me never to let down those relying on me.


Whether in my personal life or in the workplace, I’m here for those around me and enjoy being relied on. It gives me a sense of purpose to help others. To fail in doing so is a big blow to me, hence I do all I can to make sure I fulfill my word to you.


“I care what people think about me.”


As much as I may hate to admit, I do care what others think of me. I care about social status, and I care about doing things that make me look my best. It’s just the natural people-pleaser in me.


This can sometimes hinder me, of course, and take away some of the individual characteristics that make me, ME. However, I just really want to please others and have a positive influence on those around me.


You can help me by assuring me that I am loved by you and by the people around me. It matters a lot to me.

Comment below to share your thoughts on this!




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