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ENTJ in love

ENTJs are strong, responsible and committed partners who like to take charge. They do it in their workplace and likewise, display the same desire for command and responsibility in a love relationship. Having a strong desire to succeed, they will seek their personal growth together with their partners.

ENTJs want to call the shots as their tendency is toward command and taking charge. They want to make the decisions – which house to buy, how to design the interior of the rooms, how to plan their finances. This is a great trait because partners who are more easy-going can relax and allow the ENTJ to make the decisions for them. However, if the ENTJ is too imposing, they might end up stifling their partners or cause their partners to give up even having an opinion. After all, people who argue with ENTJs rarely win.

ENTJs value growth and learning. They relentlessly pursue opportunities to improve themselves and the way they think and act. This is a great trait for professional development, which makes them often high earners in their industry. However, in a relationship, their desire for growth means that their partners have to ‘catch up’ or get left behind. Indeed, ENTJs have been known to leave partners whom they feel do not match their level of intellectual ability or competence.

Even though they are intellectual and enjoy intense logical debates, they struggle when they have to deal with emotions. Their imposing or aggressive style often hurts their partner’s feelings unintentionally. Their partners who have tried to voice out their feelings have been shut out via a well-thought-out argument. If the ENTJ is not careful, their partners will feel isolated and alienated. ENTJs have been accused of treating their relationship like a project rather than a loving partnership. ENTJs should learn to be sensitive – for once they do it, they can become sentimental and extravagant lovers!

ENTJs are the happiest in the relationship when their partners admire them for their competence and intellectual ability. They love it when their partners ask for their advice or comments, which they will helpfully give. Acts of service or thoughtful gifts are nice for the ENTJ, but it doesn’t touch them as much as showing admiration does.

ENTJs are great at managing money. With budgeting, they take both an immediate and long-term perspective to allocating their finances. They are conscientious and diligent, not wanting the money to go to waste. However, they tend not to care about the mundane or the small sums of money. Things like saving a dollar or two here don’t interest them as much – they want to broadly ensure that their money is going into the right places. Besides that, if they have an interest in finance, they tend to make good investment decisions.


ENTJ in Love Strengths

Here are the joys of being with an ENTJ in love...
  • Take charge; responsible
  • Seek growth opportunities for self and partner
  • Good with money
  • Ready to tackle difficult challenges
  • Not afraid of conflict or disagreement


ENTJ in Love Challenges

Here are the challenges of being with an ENTJ in love...
  • May stifle or control their partners
  • Hard to express own emotions
  • Insensitive to the partner’s emotional needs
  • Focus too much on growth, neglect care
  • Impose their viewpoints on partners

Developing Your Relationships as an ENTJ

To grow in your ability to love and care for your partner, here are some things you can do:

Be aware of your partner’s feelings

You are a head, not heart kind of person. You may mistakenly try to win an argument with your partner rather than ‘win the relationship’. At the workplace, it is probably fine. However, with love, you can’t just focus on the intellectual side of things.

You have to be aware of your partner’s emotions – are they feeling hurt or down? Be sensitive. Don’t jump to conclusions and then give a hasty reply. Show that you are listening – that is usually enough for your partner.

Allow some space for your partner to stay static

Your strong desire for growth and knowledge is unrivalled. You are like a locomotive, a force of nature desiring to grow and learn as much as you can. You like to surround yourself with people who think alike: ambitious and goal-oriented.

However, your partner may not be someone like that. Even if your partner does want to grow and become better, they probably won’t do it at your lightning pace. Slow down sometimes and take things easy. Not everything has to be a learning opportunity.

Ask your partner for their opinions without judgment or comment

You are highly opinionated and decide on things quickly. Although you are open to alternative suggestions, your strong personality often causes people to back off from even suggesting them.

You have to be careful not to do this to your partner. If you don’t give your partner a chance to voice their opinions and give ear to them, your partner would have given up communicating with you. For some, this might even be a deal-breaker.

Ask your partner for their opinions and listen attentively without judgment or comment. Then, discuss the points of agreement before start disagreeing with them. 


Loving an ENTJ

Here’s what you should watch out for when you are dating or married to an ENTJ partner.

Don’t take their words personally

ENTJs are straightforward people, and they don’t hide their thoughts. This is the good thing about them – you don’t have to worry about them suppressing any resentment or anger toward you. What you see is what you get.

However, you have to learn not to take their criticism or feedback too personally. Instead, interpret what they say objectively and consider the merits of their words. They almost never intend to attack you as a person.

Allow them to take charge

ENTJs want to take charge. This can be a good thing if you’re someone easy-going and spontaneous. They’re going to take care of the big decisions like buying a house, deciding on wedding arrangements, and make the important decisions with money. You can take a step back and let them run things – because they want to.

Say it as it is

ENTJs don’t interpret subtle language or passive-aggressive behaviour well. If you’re not happy with something, say it. If you’re not comfortable, say it. Don’t sugar-coat your language for the ENTJ. Just tell them – they will catch your drift. They won’t be offended, but often make changes necessary to accommodate someone they love.

Be ready to grow with them

ENTJs are ambitious people with big goals. They constantly seek growth and learning opportunities to help them achieve those goals – and they expect you, their partner, to grow with them too. If you’re in a love relationship with an ENTJ, be ready to keep growing together with them. This means often reading, developing your opinion on things and being ready to be challenged at all times.  


Compatible Partnerships

Although we should never discount a person as a potential partner because of his/her personality type, type theory offers a good idea about which types might suit ENTJs better.

According to theory, the INFP or the INTP probably form the best partnership with the ENTJs. They both prefer Intuition (N), which makes communication more straightforward and less chance for misunderstanding. The quiet and spontaneous INFPs or INTPs are a great match for the gregarious and planned ENTJs.

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