ISTJ – ENTJ Relationship

Joys and Struggles

This section ISTJ - ENTJ relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The ISTJ - ENTJ relationship has 2 preference similarities and 2 preference differences. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:

Extroversion-Introversion

Joys

Struggles

Are attracted by each other’s difference in energy levels. Extroverts appreciate the calm and steady demeanor of the Introvert, while Introverts enjoy the hearty and bubbly Extrovert. Extrovert enjoys that there is an active listening ear in the Introvert, always ready to listen to his thoughts and rants. Introvert enjoys that the Extrovert takes social leadership in most occasions, connecting them to new friends and people that they otherwise would be too shy to approach.

Extroverts, however, may find that the Introvert is too quiet and communicates too little with nothing to share. They may feel Introverts are boring, or just disinterested in talking to them. Introverts may find that Extroverts are too loud and talk too much without listening to them. An Introvert may feel neglected and unheard by Extroverts because they will only share if asked – and Extroverts usually don’t ask. On the weekends, Extroverts enjoy heading out for social activities or other high stimulation activities to relax while Introverts prefer staying home or at the most have some quiet activity with close friends. This difference in preference will sometimes lead to dissatisfaction.

Sensing-Intuition

Joys

Struggles

Sensors enjoys the insightful and brilliant Intuitive and seeing things from a big picture, strategic perspective relative to theirs. Sensors are also likely fascinated by the outlandish imagination of the Intuitive; with big dreams and visions. Intuitives will appreciate the Sensors attention to detail in everyday living; Sensors bring Intuitives down to earth to common sense. While not true for all Sensors, Sensors dress themselves and groom themselves relatively well; this is something that Intuitives will appreciate and admire.

May find it a challenge to have a common topic for discussion; Sensors enjoy talking about everyday happenings while Intuitive enjoys ideas, trends and theories. These differences in interest may mean the couple may find little or no chemistry. Sensors are more past and present focused while Intuitives tend to be more future oriented; This means that Sensors will take references from past experiences and present facts to make a decision, while Intuitives are more likely to take into account future possibilities when doing so. – This may lead to different conclusions with available information. Sensors may find Intuitives’ lack of interest in everyday living and managing household tasks to be frustrating; they don’t understand why Intuitives are always ‘in their heads’, pondering about the deep things of life while they are the ones taking care of the duties of the household.

Thinking-Thinking

Joys

Struggles

Both parties enjoy the straightforward and frank communication styles; no emotional issues is brought into discussion and decision making. As such, both find it easy to communicate with each other; they won’t have to try to cushion their message or filter it; but can afford to be direct without being afraid of offending the other party. In decision-making, both parties use a logical, objective analysis to access pros and cons. This same mode of decision-making will mean that they are less likely to come into conflict.

While both are logical with one another, sometimes some romance and affection can liven up the relationship; both parties may have issues showing it. Because both use a logical and objective process in decision-making, they may have a blind spot in considering their personal values. Under stress, they may have an issue controlling their own emotions; sometimes this can lead to highly intense fights that are destructive.

Judging-Judging

Joys

Struggles

Because both value organization, they are likely to have a neat and tidy household with clear rules and standards, something which both parties will prefer. They are likely also to plan their schedules with each other, with little or no issue with unnecessary last minute changes. They will also appreciate their partner’s ability to keep up with the demands of everyday living and stay on top. They will likely be strong together with budgeting, there will be little or no issues with planning out finances together.

Even though both parties may have standards in the household, they may have very different standards. Because both tend to be opinionated, their arguments and quarrels may be more intense. Both may refuse to budge on their standards and compromise. Both parties like to settle things; this means that sometimes they may make premature decisions without sufficiently considering their alternative options.

 

Here’s how ISTJs and ENTJs can relate to each other better:

Reaching out to the ISTJ as an ENTJ

Give time for reflection – If you want to get feedback from your partner, don’t expect immediate answers to your questions. Instead, listen patiently and wait for a response.  Explain how to execute – You focus on big ideas and strategies, but your partner is more focused on the details. Break it down for your partner into to-dos and actionable steps.  Give time and space for change – Your partner is highly uncomfortable with change. If you have to implement a new idea, give your partner ample time and space to adjust.  Measure your pragmatism with morality – To convince your partner of your decisions, focus on its legality and morality instead of its effectiveness.  Recognize their need for past references – Your partner needs to see a track record of past success to be convinced that a decision is a good one.

Reaching out to the ENTJ as an ISTJ

Let your partner talk – Listen with interest and patience as your partner talks and works on new ideas out loud. Affirm your partner with words – Appreciate your partner for the partnership with spoken words or cards. Compliment your partner’s competence and excellence in work.  Trust your partner’s instincts – Support your partner’s innovations and hunches even when they seem too far-fetched. Trust your partner’s ability to create something tangible out of a vision.  Show your partner off – It may seem strange but trust us, your partner loves it when you brag about your partner’s competence to other people.  Practice patience – Be patient with how long your partner’s dreams take to take flight. It takes time for your partner’s investment of time and energy to bear fruit, especially for big or complicated ideas.

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the ISTJ – ENTJ relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.