Find out how you interact with another type

ESFP in love

Fun-loving, gregarious and sociable, ESFPs see their partners as playmates. They enjoy a relationship of pleasure and excitement. To them, life is about living it to the fullest and they look forward to having an exciting one with their partners.

At their best, ESFPs are considerate and want to please their partners. They are highly observant people who recognise their partner’s needs quickly and seek to meet them. They bring happiness and joy to their partners and whomever they hang out with. They are encouraging and have a can-do attitude, willing to try new adventures and new things with their partners. After all, a life that isn’t an adventure is not worth living!

However, ESFPs do have an issue with long-term commitments to their partners – they may move from relationship to relationship searching for someone who will engage and excite them, but may move on quickly once the relationship becomes too serious or dull. However, mature ESFPs understand this about themselves and still can have committed and fulfilling lifelong relationships.

ESFPs like to be in the spotlight. In school, they’re usually the popular student that everyone talks about. It’s easy to understand why – they are bubbly, enthusiastic and always the life of the party. They may even have many suitors throughout their youth even till today. Their pitfall, however, is that they tend to care more about the opinions of others. This may affect the quality of their relationship with their loved one.

ESFPs are also very sensitive people. They are highly aware of how people are feeling by observing their countenance. They are likely to know quickly when their partner appears a little down or have something bothering him/her. And then, with in their own fun-loving way, they will attempt to cheer their partner up!

However, being sensitive also means that they aren’t able to take criticism well from their partners. When their partners attempt to correct them, ESFPs may burst out in anger or react emotionally. However, after they’ve reflected for a while, ESFPs usually calm down and think about what was said, and apologize.

ESFPs enjoy the experiences of life like travel, food, clothes and fashion. They love a party and would love if their partners would come with them to social gatherings or recreational activities. Their ideal dates often include heading outdoors or doing a fun activity.

Unless they have overcome their impulsive nature, ESFPs may find it hard to save money. They believe in a spend-as-you-earn philosophy and find it hard to leave savings in the bank untouched. They may spend on material items or travel experiences on a whim – this is okay if they were single, but their spending behaviour might stress out their partners trying to manage the finances of the household.


ESFP in Love Strengths

Here are the joys of being with an ESFP in love...
  • Fun-loving and joyful
  • Enthusiastic, gregarious; bringing life to relationship
  • Sensitive to needs of partners
  • Making life exciting and adventurous
  • Able to adjust their life to suit partners


ESFP in Love Challenges

Here are the challenges of being with an ESFP in love...
  • May find long-term commitments a challenge
  • May find it hard to take criticism without reacting
  • Affected by what people think of them
  • Tend to be careless or impulsive with money
  • Being excited by the new; they lack follow through

Developing Your Relationships as an ESFP

To grow in your ability to love and care for your partner, here are some things you can do:

Consider the long-term commitments required

You like to take each day at a time rather than look at the long term. That’s good when you’re going through a tough time or facing challenges – taking one day at a time helps you get through it with a clearer mind. However, when it comes to love relationships, it’s good to consider if you would want to move into a long-term relationship before you even get started in the first place.

Perhaps it is good to just stick to casual dating if you are just looking for friendship or a fun time. As you may find out, breaking up with someone comes with quite a bit of drama and emotional trouble. It’s not that you find any trouble moving on quickly. However, you may grow to find it more rewarding to have a long-term relationship instead.

Don’t take criticism too personally

You may find it difficult to dish out or take criticism. Many of the times, you may even overreact or get hurt by an objective statement spoken by your partner. Your partner, especially if they’re Thinking types, may be completely oblivious at how their words may have affected you.

Don’t read too much into the statements, but treat it as objective feedback to improve the way you relate to people. Don’t treat it as a personal attack or an attack on your character. It’s sometimes just mere behaviour that needs to be adjusted to suit your partner.

Follow through

Your spontaneity helps you to adapt quickly and it probably has served you very well in several situations. However, when it comes to establishing and maintaining a household, your spontaneity may not always be a good idea. You might be disorganised or messy in the house or keep changing your plans as and when you feel like it.

This may stress out your partner who want some form of stability or certainty. Learn to follow through on your agreements and stick to them even though something better may come along.


Loving an ESFP

Here’s what you should watch out for when you are dating or married to an ESFP partner.

Give them their freedom

ESFPs need their freedom. They don’t like to feel they’re committed or tied down to anything – the more they feel that way, the more likely they’re going to rebel and do the opposite of what you want. When you are in a relationship with one, give them lots of space to be themselves and let them do the activities they want. Don’t try to control them; it’ll just work against you when they do the opposite of what you want them to!

Be sensitive to their needs and feelings

ESFPs appear light-hearted and fun-loving, but they take criticism very personally. They may get mad if they’re being reprimanded or corrected. So, you have to be very careful at how you bring the message across to them. Adopt the sandwich principle by praising them for what they do first, and then subtly talking about how they can improve, before closing off by thanking them for what they do for you again.

Find recreational activities to do together

ESFPs love doing things with their partners. Whether it’s a hike, a tennis game, or having a cookout at home, ESFPs overcome their boredom by doing fun activities. For them, the best kind of date is one that they get to get their hands dirty and their bodies moving. Watching TV or movies are okay, but it is not their preferred way of spending time together.

Be patient with their spontaneity

ESFPs tend to change plans, a lot. They may say they want to do something, only to change their minds at the last minute. Also, ESFPs may make important decisions only to tell you what they did much later! This can be infuriating for you. Be patient with them, and remind them gently about the importance of sticking to their plans and staying accountable for their actions.


Compatible Partnerships

Although we should never discount a person as a potential partner because of his/her personality type, type theory offers a good idea about which types might suit ESFPs better.

According to theory, the ISFJ or the ISTJ probably form the best partnership with the ESFPs. They are both Sensing (S), which makes communication more straightforward and less chance for misunderstanding. The quiet, stable and diligent ISFJs or ISTJs are a great complement to the fun-loving and gregarious ESFPs.

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